Last Sunday night, while I was listening to the homily, I suddenly felt unwell. My whole body started to feel numb. I was cold as water from the ref. I was sweating all over. And as I was looking at the priest, my peripheral vision started to go black and just like the curtain goes down after a broadway show so did my sight. I almost fell out of balance. Good thing I was standing near the wall. There were no seats that time, I just leaned on the wall and pushed my self to hold on. I experienced what doctors would call syncope, not only once but twice.
I then realized, "What if it was my last look at this world?" Nothing is for certain in this world. Except for two things, LOVE and DEATH. Man will never cease to love likewise with death.
For those I love, I'm sorry if I am lenient in saying how much I love you. I'm never the type to say it. I always hope that through my actions, you'd somehow feel it. I never will be perfect and strong though how hard I try to be for this I may have failed you. I maybe overreacting because of the incident. Perhaps, I'm just scared like a little kid on her first day of school. My fear of losing everything that I have in this world and I'm not talking about things but of my loved ones. If everything turns out, well maybe there is more in store for me. Don't want to seem morbid but I just don't want to pass up on the opportunity of letting you guys know how grateful I am. That even if I sold my life, I won't be enough for the things you have done for me. I just want to bring back the praise to you guys. Those who supported me through it all. Those who loved me for who I am irregardless of my shortcomings. I'm forever in awe. Kudos to you. I LOVE YOU ALL.
just crazy thoughts...
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