It's been a while since my sister and I went to our hometown. Last October 27, we went to Ormoc City. The place where I have spent more than 16 years of my life. the last time I was there was i guess Jan 4 of this year. When we arrived there it was still pitch black. It was only 4a.m. if I'm not mistaken. The wind was cold and the city was quite as it was always when got off the ship. As I ventured onto the streets, I saw new buildings. Quite clearly, somethings have changed in the city physically.
As we got home after a short walk from the pier. I saw our house (my lola's house actually). I was ambivalent. I was happy that we were back in Ormoc and yet sad at the same time. It was unlike my previous homecomings. Neither my mother nor father were there to pick us up at the pier. Our house was filled with dust and cobwebs. It was all messed up from the robbery. A lot of things were stolen. For me, those stuff didn't matter that much. What I was missing was our home. I was only looking at a house and nothing more than a structure built for people to be protected from nature but it was no longer home for me.
Nothingness in that house. I miss those good old times. A couple of years back coming to Ormoc was such a momentous day for me. It was like a sanctuary for me. A relief from the stresses in college. I was able to enjoy the simple things like sleep in the living room while my mother was preparing a meal or going out for a meal with the whole family. I was able to relive those days when I was still a kid. I'd play with my dogs or look at the stars and the trees while sitting in the balcony (which is still not done) during night. A lot of things have changed.
Every year that I went home, I began to saw changes. Those changes struck me the most recently. I no longer felt at home. I felt like I was a stranger in Ormoc City. Although I know that change in Ormoc is quite slow but for me it has been drastic that is in relation with my life and my connection with the place. Quite frankly, if you were to ask me if I'd prefer a vacation in Ormoc or stay in Cebu, my answer would be I rather stay in Cebu. Going back to Ormoc is heart breaking really. The reason why I go there are gone already. My parents are not there. Most of my childhood friends have moved elsewhere. My pets are all gone. The house is a wreck. I've become a stranger in my own hometown. Nothings the same at it was before. It was not the same place that I used to love. The warmth of coming home is gone. The experience woke me up. I realized that in the coming years, more things will change. Maybe one day, I will no longer feel at home here in Cebu. Maybe those familiar things that I love will also be gone.
We are all travellers in this lifetime. There are places that have been a part of who we are now. What's important is that we keep a morsel of those journeys in our heart. So that even if we turn into unfamiliar faces in our own hometown, we'd still know how it felt like to be at home. For in all of our journeys, what's essential is the heart of the traveller because within that heart lies our home.
