The Art of Letting Go

Letting go, one of the most difficult things we all have to face at least once in our lifetime. For us girls, it's really devastating dilemma. We tend to be more emotional than men. The pain experienced by the man maybe magnified a couple of times for a woman.

How do you say goodbye to all the hopes you've put out for that dream? How do you start picking up the pieces? How can you manage to leave everything behind?

I had my share of mistakes and blunders and I can't really  tell if I will still make those in the future. There are lots of years ahead of me and in life nothing is for certain.

When we let go, we give up the possibility. We accept that somethings are never meant to be. No matter how much it hurts, we must swallow the pain that goes along with it. People who never learn to let go will never grow. It is comparable with that of a pupa. If it resists the process of metamorphosis. She will never become a butterfly. The same goes for life. Whether it is going through a family problem, losing a loved one or something important, or being betrayed by someone, we must let go in order for us to grow.

As for me, I'm letting go of my ideals. I'm freeing myself from the notions programmed into me when I was a kid. I'm leaving behind fairy tales. I'm cutting myself away from all the drama. I've done stupid almost unthinkable and even pitiful things in the past just to hang on. I didn't want to feel alone, unloved and useless . I did quite a number of things that a sane stable girl wouldn't do. I don't want to be caught in the cycle. I want to stop obsessing about the norms especially on me being a hopeless romantic. It never did me any good. It just resulted in me getting hurt and disappointed. I'm taking a stand and putting my heart in my sleeve with caution and a renewed faith. Living life the way we should live it by keeping everything real and untarnished by my own delusions and frustrations.

It is in moving on that you allow God to take control. When we let go, we realize our fallibility . It is a courageous act of accepting our destiny. Happiness starts when we let go. Everybody deserves to be happy. We all should learn to let go one way or the other. It's high time that you and I take that little leap of faith. For once, face the unknown and entrust ourselves to God. Letting go is never easy but life same goes for life. It will never be easy, for cowards and for those who continue to live under the sheath of falsity. Hiding under what we perceive as norms is not living life the way it is supposed to be.

We should stand up and walk out of our history.  Besides, letting go isn't the end of world but the beginning of a new life.

A Letter of Apology

It was last Sunday when the priest from the mass said that the year is coming to an end and that we need to change to prepare ourselves for the coming of the Messiah. This year was a whirlwind of events for me and the biggest hurt I got was from my ex. He found a new girl and I knew it way before he told me. I was so outraged by what he did that I said bad things not only to him but also to her new girl. People can become so illogical and unreasonable when anger overpowers them. Our last phone call ended up with me calling him " Walang Kwenta" and me slamming the phone. I guess it didn't end up so well. From then on I said to myself that forgiving him is impossible. Now here I am. It has been almost 6 months since that call. I've finally decided to send my apologies and make things less burdensome for me. I know Yani and my other friends will tell me, "You're crazy, don't forgive that jerk!!". I so know them well. So why am I apologizing when I was the one who got cheated upon? It took me a long time to realize somethings about our past relationship.

I cannot completely blame him nor can I completely say that I had no fault. Maybe I had shortcoming which led him to do such thing to me or maybe I'm just intellectualizing in order for me to justify what he did. What happened? Who got hurt more? Who lost? These things don't matter to me. What I'm giving importance is that he apologized to me. Who am I not to forgive? I'm just a human being myself, I also have my own fair share of mistakes and rash doings. I cannot go on hating others. I would only mean taking a part of me and burying it in my past. Forgiving means being free from hurt. Relieving yourself of a burden brought about by a conflict. Resolving the pain by letting go of the bitterness. Placing your soul at ease knowing that you have no enemies. Whether or not he was truly sorry for what he did to me, I forgive him and in return that act is a kind act to myself. Nothing is lost when you forgive. Keeping your ego's integrity means nothing. It's saving relationships that matter more. It is appreciating what's meaningful way before those conflicts. It's reviving a lost friendship.

If you're curious about my apology... I have written it here...

To make things right for me this coming year, I'd like to send out my apologies to you and your girlfriend. What I blurted out was from pure hurt and anger. I acted out impulsively. I have said hurtful things and if it hurt you, I'm sorry bout it. It's not easy being dumped so informally. If I had any shortcomings, I'd like to apologize. I said before that I'd never forgive you. If you knew me well enough, you'd know that I'm not the type who'd hold a grudge to anyone not even to those who have caused me much pain. Though you have denied me, I have never regretted anything. Somehow you have helped me to become where I am now. I'm more stronger. From this point, I'd hope that if somehow our paths cross, there be no more pain and resentment. For making me a better person that I am now, I am forever grateful. I hope though that next year hopefully by April, I can get all the photos that I gave you. I'd rather have them back since I know it would be of no use to you at all and in return I'll be giving back those jerseys you gave me before. I know it is somehow important to you to have those things back also with your elementary ID. Please tell Leah that I am truly sorry for whatever I have said to her. Sincerely, I wish you guys the best. I do hope this message will be enough sorry for the both of you....

JOI GIN,

PAU

That was how my apology went. I mean it's not perfect. I'm no ace in writing anyways as long as I got my message across...

The Art of Letting Go

Live every moment of your life.

People often times dwell on the negativism that have occurred in their life. They end up living in a small nook in the big room of life. When your life's drenched in sorrow and pain, you just need to look around you. The world won't stop for you to take up the broken pieces back. Time fades. Life is much beautiful if you fill yourself with positivity. Often than not, we misconstrue our lives. We fail to see that there are more things to be grateful about. I hate waking up early in the morning yet I love the morning. It is a reminder that I am still alive and that I still have the opportunity that others don't have anymore. If somebody broke your heart, don't go hating on him/her. Wasting time for a person who doesn't value you will only mean giving part of your precious life. When you're down and out, when you feel the whole world is going against you and when you feel there's no reason for living. You should just let go of it and continue living. You can have a good life if you will it to be. Give yourself a chance to be happy.