List Of Events related to Bb. Ormoc

June 12 >>>> Parade

June 22>>>> Pre-Pageant/Official Presentation of Candidates/Talents Night

June 28>>>> Coronation Night

What  I've Been Up To >>

Pictorial

Fashion Show

Hosting Stint

Catwalk Training

next week rehearsals for the pre pageant and coronation night...

as the day grows shorter, i become more nervous and excited...

still praying for a good result... hoping all the hardwork will pay off...

A List of Why's

Why am I alone? 

A: Because you allow yourself to be away from everybody else. Trying going out every now and then.

Why am I sad?

A: Because your focus is directed towards negative things. There is no such thing a person who has no reason to smile. Try to tap into it when you're sad.

Why do we feel pain?

A: Because we have nerves and brains that tells us. As for emotional pain, because we are human? haha.. Pain is inescapable. Live with it. Just learn to divert. Sometimes pain triggers new discoveries. Pain comes with comfort. Everything in this world in dual. As a matter is to an anti matter, as love is to hate, as life is to death and so on and so forth...

Why do people say I'm immature?

A: Because you are not fully aware of the things you do. Being irresponsible and insensitive to every opposite reaction makes you down right careless thus immaturity coming into play. Think before you speak or do anything. Science tells us that every action has an equal opposite reaction. Be aware. Start to care more and learn to look from various perspectives.

Why do people die?

A: We are not perfect. If we were perfect, death would not exist. We are not like God though we strive to be. It sets us apart from him. He is the creator we are His creations we come with expiry dates. What's important is we live according to His will.

Why are men insensitive and pathetic?

A: Don't blame it on men. Blame it on yourself for giving them a chance to hurt you. Stop obsessing about men you like who in reality don't care about you. They are not insensitive. They are just not interested in you. Wait for the right man for you. Then you're thoughts of men will probably change. If they are pathetic for you then look for better ones. 

Why am I single?

A: Because you haven't found someone who makes you happy. Just wait but don't put yourself in a box. The box represents your high standards that are keeping you from meeting good guys. Don't be too demanding. You're not perfect either.

Why is everything complicated in this world?

A: Because we were given great minds. We have complex minds thus we make this world so complicated. Try living simply to see the reason behind the phenomenon of complexity.

Facing Reality

Earlier today, I was so pissed off which ended with me getting swollen knuckles.

 I was just letting my frustrations go physically that is. Maybe all the emotional burden got the best out of me. 

Last night was the same, I was complaining about how men were. 

A friend said to me last night that I should not keep on digging up the past. I was guilty of it. I never was the type of person who would find closure alone. 

I always needed that the person involved tell me upfront since I'm like that. But I guess sometime, you have to learn to let go on your own. 

Then as I read through the text of He's Just Not That Into You again, there were flashbacks of my past relationship. 

How I wished that I read this book 6years ago I wouldn't have wasted my time with him. I really think that what kept me hanging on to him despite all the things he did was the same with that the battered wife's syndrome. 

A syndrome that involved women thinking overly positive about a relationship that's clearly abusive. Due to the fairy tale concepts that were injected to us when we were young. I myself am guilty of the common line " He will be different tomorrow, he will be better, we will be happier." Probably it has something with one's ego. 

It's hard to accept that you picked the wrong guy and give up all the efforts you made just to keep him with you. Even-though I saw a lot of reasons to break up with him I kept holding on. I ended up being brutally hurt. It was only after the inhumane break up that I realized those things and like what the book said have faith that there is a better man out there for you. 

Despite the small number of good men out there. You will find one if you are only open to it and if you believe. It's no secret. Faith can definitely move mountains. Just hang on and do go for guys who are not in your standards. Keep your standards simple and achievable. 

When I was a teenager I was so damn idealistic which only makes you frustrated as you grow older. About staying in a relationship, it is easy to judge whether or not to hang on to a relationship or to wait for that person. 

If he makes you happy and if he shows that he love you then that man is really in love with you. 

If not, stop making excuses for him. It won't change the fact. You should just give it up and give yourself a chance to find someone better.

 It's better to be single than be with someone who is a burden to you. In all things, always consider yourself before anything else but be sensitive to others as well. 

It is in loving oneself that you learn to love others. It has been said before. 

We all know well the golden rule. Just try to understand it deeper. 

Every person's actions are derived from what is in his mind and heart. Get a clue. Reality maybe harsh. You are in this real world and not some Wonderland. You won't go wrong if you know what makes you happy and have faith in it.

 It's not the circumstances that make men great. It is the choices that we make despite those trivial life events. 

Stop hiding and deceiving yourself. It will not get you anywhere but in a junkyard filled with regrets and sorrow. Listen to what your heart tells you. We have instincts for a reason. 

The basic philosophy that will get you far is simple. If you are happy with it keep it, leave if you're not. 

The world is wide. Don't put yourself in a box. Open up to the world and in return it will do the same to you. Reality >> face it,learn from it and love every moment of it.

A Message for My Mama

I'm sorry for the wrong words I've said. I've hurt you so much in a couple of minutes. I'm sorry for losing my wits and tack when we had our chat. I know all the pains you have gone through just to give us a decent life. We are who we are because of you mama. I am truly sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel worthless. I was just going crazy over the situation. I over reacted and let my past frustrations get the best out of me. I know you love me. I'm sorry if I turned out ungrateful. I am forever in gratitude for the life you have given me. I wouldn't exchange you for anything or any other mother in the world. You forever will be the greatest mother for me and nothing can change that. You're heart and soul made me a better person that alone makes you more precious than all the precious jewels in this world. I may not be able to give you visible gifts right now to show how much I appreciate you, rest assured everything you sacrificed for will be repaid. I was not able to greet you on the exact day because you were not online. I'm truly sorry. I know I'm no perfect daughter and you know all my negative aspects. Yet you continue to show your love for me. Ma I will always love you and you are always in my heart and mind. Belated Happy Mother's Day. I hope that the next mother's day I won't fail you anymore.  

TRYING TO BE A LADY

Haha yet another adventure for me... I've made it through the crazy screening process and I'm now an official candidate for Bb. Ormoc 2009. Me and my ideas oh well. It's brutal. I had a couple of treaments and there will still be other treatments to be presentable come Corontation Night. How will I survive all this? I hope I bring out the beautiful lady in me. I don't know how to strut like one that's for sure. I am not comfortable being the center of attention. So why the heck did I decide to join this year? Well since I'm trying to make the best out of me. I did it drastically now. This is the end of the line straight up from my usual sanity. I mustered up the courage to join a beauty pageant. Coming from a person with bouts of self-pity and self-rejection, it sure is a stressful and uber challenging thing. I plan to conquer my obnoxious stage frights. This is a wake up call to my almost absent self-confidence. May 15 will be my first professional photoshoot followed by a courtesy call to the Office of the Mayor. The day after my handlers are putting me on a challenge in strutting. I'm doing my very first catwalk in a fashion show. After it a series of practices for my walk,poses, talent and stuff we need to do for the coronation night. Then on Independence Day we will also be joining the parade and later on the official presentation of the Candidates. They haven't provided us with the full schedule so I can't tell what to expect. For those who like me thinks that beauty pageants are not that difficult. I was way wrong. I belittled pageants before an now I know how hard it is just to please most of the people and how demanding the task is on hand. Oh well!! Do or die trying!!! AJA!!! Wha!!! Guess I'll be busy for the whole month of May and June... I do hope I will be able to bring out the best in me... Oh my gulay!! Karir na kung karir!! I'm doing this also to make my mother proud. I'll keep you posted haha...