11.9.09

Blunt Truths About Guys



I'm just making my version of the book "He's Just Not That Into You". I hope this can help those girls who are all out when it comes to love despite the hurt. I just want girls to realize that loving doesn't mean losing their dignity and self-love.

Leave the guy if:

1.He doesn't show he cares. It is so plain and simple. No reasons needed. Stop thinking that he is just holding back. A guy who truly cares can't help but show it.


2. He is self-destructive. If he doesn't heed advices that are good for him, it's a no no. Yes, it is bad to demand a person to change but if he really loves you he would consider your point. A person who is stubborn will take a millennium to change. You'll just get frustrated, you wouldn't want to waste your time for a person who doesn't want to improve himself. Examples of these are : guys who keep on dropping out in school, guys who party all the time, guys who use drugs and guys who are nymphomaniacs. You'll only be pulled down. You deserve someone way better.
3. He doesn't have the initiative. By law of nature, it is the guys who does things for the girl and not the other way around. You don't want to be in a relationship wherein you are the slave. Your parents didn't raise you to be one. There should be equality. Please don't put his happiness before his. It should be at the same level.
4. He keeps on making excuses for things he forgot to do or for the promises he broke that is unless he has the same disease as what Drew Barrymore had in "50 First Dates". It just shows how irresponsible he is, you wouldn't want to marry someone like that. Just think of it. A man should practice what he preach and must keep his promises.
5. You keep worrying about him. A guy who doesn't tell about what he is up to ain't worth it at all. Imagine how it would be like when you guys get married. You will look 50 even-though you're only 30. A real man is considerate and thoughtful to the lady he loves.


These are the main truths that girls should accept. It is high time that we all wake up from our dreams and face reality. No matter how much you like that guy if he can't do the same for you it would still be a waste. A woman deserves to be respected and treated like a delicate glass. Stop letting those jerks who pretend to be real men trample on you and your dignity. You are way better than that. Don't be desperate. Just trust that God has already made the right one for you.

5.9.09

Right

It's almost two years since my heart suffered a major blow.

I fell into an abyss filled of self-pity, paranoia, anger, depression and hopelessness.

I lack direction and I did things that only added insult to injury.

Just because I loved someone way more than I loved myself.

I've done crazy and unthinkable things.

Things that comes to haunt me every now and then.

I am never perfect and I'll never be the ideal girl.

Though I suffered and was severed by tragedies and wrong decisions, I am still alive.

Fighting and not letting go of my faith that God will help me.

I pray that as I live off each day, I continue to morph into a better person.

I'm freeing myself of all the negativism.

I will no longer feel sorry for myself.

I don't strive for perfection but I want to make the right decisions in my life.

As for my wounded heart, I guess God has a plan.

I know that in the right time, I will finally find the right man.


And when that time comes, I pray that I will no longer fear the ghosts of my past nor the uncertainties of tomorrow.

1.8.09

What Every Guy Should Be..



1.) Optimistic and Great Sense of Humor

He has a positive outlook on life, even when things aren’t bright and sunny. He always makes you laugh with his great sense of humor. Most of the time, he is someone who is very fun and enjoyable to be with.

2.) Faithful/Loyal and Committed

He is someone who is reliable and trustworthy. You know deep down in your heart that you can always count on him for support, understanding, and comfort. Most importantly, you can trust him that he won’t deliberately do things or make decisions that would hurt you or the relationship/marriage.

3.) Great Communication Skills

He listens em pathetically and patiently to the things you say without being judgmental. He tries to see things from your point of view before providing solutions or advice. He is able to get his message across and conveys his thoughts effectively.

4.) Respect You and Treat You as an Equal Partner

He values your opinions and genuinely wants to understand your thoughts. He discusses things with you before making important decisions. He respects you, your family, your friends, your choices, your career, and your space/privacy.

5.) Affectionate, Sensitive, and Romantic

He expresses his love and care for you through simple, affectionate gestures like hugs, kisses, holding hands, calls, sweet little notes/cards, saying “I love you,” and etc. He is attentive and sensitive to your needs, and he cheerfully does little things to make you happy and loved and cared for.

6.) Appreciative and Forgiving

He doesn’t take you or the relationship/marriage for granted. He appreciates you and the things you do for him on a daily basis. He doesn’t hold grudges when you unintentionally hurt his feelings or make mistakes. He forgives and moves on.

7.) Love You Just the Way You Are

You are good enough just the way you are – in fact, in his eyes, you are the best. He accepts you as a total package – the good and the not-so-good. He helps and encourages you to learn and grow to your fullest potential, instead of molding you to become the “dream girl” or “ideal wife” in his fantasy.

8.) Financially Responsible

Notice I didn’t mention “financially wealthy” - I said “financially responsible.” You don’t have to be a millionaire or make 500k a year. It’s not about how much money you make but rather how well you manage what you have – making wise financial decisions, plans, and investments.

9.) Passionate about Life

He has other passions in life other than you, for example his work, hobbies, interests, friends, family, religious beliefs, and etc. He takes good care of himself and doesn’t rely on you entirely for his happiness. He deeply believes and feels that life is wonderful and worth living and he’s committed to life long learning and self development.

10.) Confident and Competent

He is confident, but not arrogant. Men are born leaders, protectors, and providers (at least they deeply believe they are) – we all know that. It’s nothing new. However, in order for a woman to genuinely and deeply admire, adore, and respect her man, he has to be competent to begin with. That doesn’t mean he has to perfect (everybody makes mistakes) or has supernatural powers. But he kind of has to know what he’s doing.

Sourced from: http://hesaysandshesays.wordpress.com/

Here's What I Think Every Guy Should Do:


( a list of my frustration with some guys.. )
1. Say What You Mean.

It really gets into my nerves when a guy says this and that then you found out later that what they said were all lies. Stop trying to be nice. Just tell say it. No matter how blunt you'll appear to be. Guys find it so easy to say to 'I love you' to any girl. Oftentimes, we fall for it and we become blinded. Honesty is really important for us girls. Don't give us false hopes. Cut us some slack. We are emotional creatures. Anything you say really affects us.

2. Don't Make Promises You Can't Make.

"I'll only love you.." The most abused promise of them all. Guys stop saying those things not unless you're certain that you're marrying the girl. Don't give full of air promises. It really hurts us girls when you don't keep them. Rather than making those promises verbally, try to show it. It really is true about actions speaking louder than words.

3. Stop Collecting.

I know most men go on feeding their egos. Collecting girls from everywhere. Don't treat us like we're cars or NBA cards. We're not objects. We get hurt when you do this. One at a time please. Treat each girl as you would treat you mother or sister.

4. Be Sensitive.


Sometimes we don't tell you. Try to be more sensitive. Sometimes we say we are fine when in fact we are not. We may not always say it directly so look for other cues or observe our actions.
5.Always Be A Gentleman.

Manners matters. Don't act like apes. You were given brains for a reason. Try to be tactful and behave properly. When you see a girl standing offer her a seat. Just because gender equality is popular nowadays, it doesn't mean that you treat girls like men too.


Again emphasis on SOME... I don't mean that all guys lack those aforementioned. I would be committing the fallacy of hasty generalization if I said all men. I myself know a few great men who do those things. Kudos to those men.

17.6.09

180 degree Change

Who would have thought?

I guess nobody reckoned that I've turned out to be a lady, as what a friend of my mother told me when she saw me.

She was constantly smiling at me. She said she knew that moment would come when I would finally join a pageant.

I myself am still dumbfounded by the events that are happening to me.

I have already done fashion shows twice, co hosted an event, gone through screening, survived the motorcade and even walking side by side with Aaron Villaflor, an ABS CBN talent.

I never thought I could do all these things.

For all my years, I never really believed in myself. Though there have been instances that other people would tell me of my potential.

It never dawned on me.

I was constantly battling with self- pity.

I was never positive about myself which caused me a lot in the past.

So far, with the things I've done I have heard positive things.

This past months have been one of the most arduous task ever brought upon me.


I never was comfortable getting a whole lot of attention.


I always sought a life of seclusion and anonymity but I guess with my height, I can never stay invisible.

The girl who grew up being close to guys.

The one who would spend her breaks during  school on top of a tree.

The same girl who used to catch guppies in a canal and who would play tag with guys.

I was boyish from primary until my early years in college.

It was only when I started my graduate studies that I realized that I also need to act like a lady.

Being a kid, I had an excuse why I acted boyish but I was already a grown up. A professional nurse at that.

Yes, it has been a 180 degree change on how I look, on how I carry myself and most importantly on how I saw myself.

However, there are still times when I think negatively about me.

I try to fight my inner demons for I know succumbing to them would only bring me down.

I, now see the real me.

I do hope that all the ordeals that I have to yet conquer will make me better as a daughter, a friend and a nurse.

May all the coming years in my life be a meaningful and beautiful one.

As I embrace my renaissance, I will always keep in my heart who I was before as it will help me to stay grounded.

The 180 degree change is starting and when it ends, I hope that I will become the best woman that I am destined to be as what God had planned for me.

21.5.09

List Of Events related to Bb. Ormoc

June 12 >>>> Parade

June 22>>>> Pre-Pageant/Official Presentation of Candidates/Talents Night

June 28>>>> Coronation Night

What  I've Been Up To >>

Pictorial

Fashion Show

Hosting Stint

Catwalk Training

next week rehearsals for the pre pageant and coronation night...

as the day grows shorter, i become more nervous and excited...

still praying for a good result... hoping all the hardwork will pay off...

14.5.09

A List of Why's

Why am I alone? 

A: Because you allow yourself to be away from everybody else. Trying going out every now and then.

Why am I sad?

A: Because your focus is directed towards negative things. There is no such thing a person who has no reason to smile. Try to tap into it when you're sad.

Why do we feel pain?

A: Because we have nerves and brains that tells us. As for emotional pain, because we are human? haha.. Pain is inescapable. Live with it. Just learn to divert. Sometimes pain triggers new discoveries. Pain comes with comfort. Everything in this world in dual. As a matter is to an anti matter, as love is to hate, as life is to death and so on and so forth...

Why do people say I'm immature?

A: Because you are not fully aware of the things you do. Being irresponsible and insensitive to every opposite reaction makes you down right careless thus immaturity coming into play. Think before you speak or do anything. Science tells us that every action has an equal opposite reaction. Be aware. Start to care more and learn to look from various perspectives.

Why do people die?

A: We are not perfect. If we were perfect, death would not exist. We are not like God though we strive to be. It sets us apart from him. He is the creator we are His creations we come with expiry dates. What's important is we live according to His will.

Why are men insensitive and pathetic?

A: Don't blame it on men. Blame it on yourself for giving them a chance to hurt you. Stop obsessing about men you like who in reality don't care about you. They are not insensitive. They are just not interested in you. Wait for the right man for you. Then you're thoughts of men will probably change. If they are pathetic for you then look for better ones. 

Why am I single?

A: Because you haven't found someone who makes you happy. Just wait but don't put yourself in a box. The box represents your high standards that are keeping you from meeting good guys. Don't be too demanding. You're not perfect either.

Why is everything complicated in this world?

A: Because we were given great minds. We have complex minds thus we make this world so complicated. Try living simply to see the reason behind the phenomenon of complexity.


Facing Reality

Earlier today, I was so pissed off which ended with me getting swollen knuckles.

 I was just letting my frustrations go physically that is. Maybe all the emotional burden got the best out of me. 

Last night was the same, I was complaining about how men were. 

A friend said to me last night that I should not keep on digging up the past. I was guilty of it. I never was the type of person who would find closure alone. 

I always needed that the person involved tell me upfront since I'm like that. But I guess sometime, you have to learn to let go on your own. 

Then as I read through the text of He's Just Not That Into You again, there were flashbacks of my past relationship. 

How I wished that I read this book 6years ago I wouldn't have wasted my time with him. I really think that what kept me hanging on to him despite all the things he did was the same with that the battered wife's syndrome. 

A syndrome that involved women thinking overly positive about a relationship that's clearly abusive. Due to the fairy tale concepts that were injected to us when we were young. I myself am guilty of the common line " He will be different tomorrow, he will be better, we will be happier." Probably it has something with one's ego. 

It's hard to accept that you picked the wrong guy and give up all the efforts you made just to keep him with you. Even-though I saw a lot of reasons to break up with him I kept holding on. I ended up being brutally hurt. It was only after the inhumane break up that I realized those things and like what the book said have faith that there is a better man out there for you. 

Despite the small number of good men out there. You will find one if you are only open to it and if you believe. It's no secret. Faith can definitely move mountains. Just hang on and do go for guys who are not in your standards. Keep your standards simple and achievable. 

When I was a teenager I was so damn idealistic which only makes you frustrated as you grow older. About staying in a relationship, it is easy to judge whether or not to hang on to a relationship or to wait for that person. 

If he makes you happy and if he shows that he love you then that man is really in love with you. 

If not, stop making excuses for him. It won't change the fact. You should just give it up and give yourself a chance to find someone better.

 It's better to be single than be with someone who is a burden to you. In all things, always consider yourself before anything else but be sensitive to others as well. 

It is in loving oneself that you learn to love others. It has been said before. 

We all know well the golden rule. Just try to understand it deeper. 

Every person's actions are derived from what is in his mind and heart. Get a clue. Reality maybe harsh. You are in this real world and not some Wonderland. You won't go wrong if you know what makes you happy and have faith in it.

 It's not the circumstances that make men great. It is the choices that we make despite those trivial life events. 

Stop hiding and deceiving yourself. It will not get you anywhere but in a junkyard filled with regrets and sorrow. Listen to what your heart tells you. We have instincts for a reason. 

The basic philosophy that will get you far is simple. If you are happy with it keep it, leave if you're not. 

The world is wide. Don't put yourself in a box. Open up to the world and in return it will do the same to you. Reality >> face it,learn from it and love every moment of it.

13.5.09

A Message for My Mama

I'm sorry for the wrong words I've said. I've hurt you so much in a couple of minutes. I'm sorry for losing my wits and tack when we had our chat. I know all the pains you have gone through just to give us a decent life. We are who we are because of you mama. I am truly sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel worthless. I was just going crazy over the situation. I over reacted and let my past frustrations get the best out of me. I know you love me. I'm sorry if I turned out ungrateful. I am forever in gratitude for the life you have given me. I wouldn't exchange you for anything or any other mother in the world. You forever will be the greatest mother for me and nothing can change that. You're heart and soul made me a better person that alone makes you more precious than all the precious jewels in this world. I may not be able to give you visible gifts right now to show how much I appreciate you, rest assured everything you sacrificed for will be repaid. I was not able to greet you on the exact day because you were not online. I'm truly sorry. I know I'm no perfect daughter and you know all my negative aspects. Yet you continue to show your love for me. Ma I will always love you and you are always in my heart and mind. Belated Happy Mother's Day. I hope that the next mother's day I won't fail you anymore.  

TRYING TO BE A LADY

Haha yet another adventure for me... I've made it through the crazy screening process and I'm now an official candidate for Bb. Ormoc 2009. Me and my ideas oh well. It's brutal. I had a couple of treaments and there will still be other treatments to be presentable come Corontation Night. How will I survive all this? I hope I bring out the beautiful lady in me. I don't know how to strut like one that's for sure. I am not comfortable being the center of attention. So why the heck did I decide to join this year? Well since I'm trying to make the best out of me. I did it drastically now. This is the end of the line straight up from my usual sanity. I mustered up the courage to join a beauty pageant. Coming from a person with bouts of self-pity and self-rejection, it sure is a stressful and uber challenging thing. I plan to conquer my obnoxious stage frights. This is a wake up call to my almost absent self-confidence. May 15 will be my first professional photoshoot followed by a courtesy call to the Office of the Mayor. The day after my handlers are putting me on a challenge in strutting. I'm doing my very first catwalk in a fashion show. After it a series of practices for my walk,poses, talent and stuff we need to do for the coronation night. Then on Independence Day we will also be joining the parade and later on the official presentation of the Candidates. They haven't provided us with the full schedule so I can't tell what to expect. For those who like me thinks that beauty pageants are not that difficult. I was way wrong. I belittled pageants before an now I know how hard it is just to please most of the people and how demanding the task is on hand. Oh well!! Do or die trying!!! AJA!!! Wha!!! Guess I'll be busy for the whole month of May and June... I do hope I will be able to bring out the best in me... Oh my gulay!! Karir na kung karir!! I'm doing this also to make my mother proud. I'll keep you posted haha... 

30.4.09

I AM MY OWN BOSS

LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT

The power to succeed or fail is yours alone.



You alone have the responsibility to shape your life.

Nothing and no one can deny you greatness once you understand this.


There's no one to stop you but yourself.



No one can cheat you out of ultimate success but you.



More powerful then all the success slogans ever written



is the realization that everyone has but one boss.

That boss is you.



Picture yourself vividly as winning,



and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success. 

I've read this off a site and now I realize how important it is to believe in yourself. How stepping out of your comfort zone can benefit. All my life I was never brave enough to do this that I wanted. I thought too much of others before myself. Somehow I always let others be the boss. It made me down and displeased. Though there were good things that happened along the bossing around but I always felt like there is something missing. On May, I will be doing things that will somehow liberate me from the routinely submissive me. For once, I will believe that I can win. No more doubting in my capacity. I can because I will it to be. I'll be taking on new challenges in my life and I won't shy away from it. I'll fight head on. I will do it or die trying. AJA!!!!! I will fight and it will be a good one. 

27.4.09

Idle

How can I tell you how I feel?

I'm but a shadow to you.

An insignificant one in the midst of a great crowd.

How can you feel my heartbeat when your heart beats for another?

Shall I stay forever tangled in your web?

Or shall I break loose from all thoughts of you?

Shall I live with this growing pain?

Or should I let you out of this heart of mine and accept that you will never be mine?

And if I walked away from your world, would you even care?

These questions are left hanging in this idle mind of mine.


15.4.09

48 Laws of Power

The 48 Laws of Power

by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers

Law 1

Never Outshine the Master

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

Law 2

Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies

Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

Law 3

Conceal your Intentions

Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelope them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.

Law 4

Always Say Less than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

Law 5

So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life

Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

Law 6

Court Attention at all Cost

Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing. Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion. Stand out. Be conspicuous, at all cost. Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious, than the bland and timid masses.

Law 7

Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit

Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause. Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed. In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered. Never do yourself what others can do for you.

Law 8

Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary

When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control. It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process. Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack. You hold the cards.

Law 9

Win through your Actions, Never through Argument

Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory: The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion. It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word. Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Law 10

Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

Law 11

Learn to Keep People Dependent on You

To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted. The more you are relied on, the more freedom you have. Make people depend on you for their happiness and prosperity and you have nothing to fear. Never teach them enough so that they can do without you.

Law 12

Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim

One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones. Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people. Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will. A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose.

Law 13

When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest,

Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds. He will find a way to ignore you. Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion. He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

Law 14

Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy

Knowing about your rival is critical. Use spies to gather valuable information that will keep you a step ahead. Better still: Play the spy yourself. In polite social encounters, learn to probe. Ask indirect questions to get people to reveal their weaknesses and intentions. There is no occasion that is not an opportunity for artful spying.

Law 15

Crush your Enemy Totally



Law 16

Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor

Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.

Law 17

Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability

Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. Turn the tables: Be deliberately unpredictable. Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them off-balance, and they will wear themselves out trying to explain your moves. Taken to an extreme, this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.

Law 18

Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous

The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

Law 19

Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person

There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way. Deceive or outmaneuver some people and they will spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge. They are wolves in lambs’ clothing. Choose your victims and opponents carefully, then – never offend or deceive the wrong person.

Law 20

Do Not Commit to Anyone

It is the fool who always rushes to take sides. Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself. By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others – playing people against one another, making them pursue you.

Law 21

Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark

No one likes feeling stupider than the next persons. The trick, is to make your victims feel smart – and not just smart, but smarter than you are. Once convinced of this, they will never suspect that you may have ulterior motives.

Law 22

Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power

When you are weaker, never fight for honor’s sake; choose surrender instead. Surrender gives you time to recover, time to torment and irritate your conqueror, time to wait for his power to wane. Do not give him the satisfaction of fighting and defeating you – surrender first. By turning the other check you infuriate and unsettle him. Make surrender a tool of power.

Law 23

Concentrate Your Forces

Conserve your forces and energies by keeping them concentrated at their strongest point. You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats ex tensity every time. When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one key patron, the fat cow who will give you milk for a long time to come.

Law 24

Play the Perfect Courtier

The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity. He has mastered the art of indirection; he flatters, yields to superiors, and asserts power over others in the mot oblique and graceful manner. Learn and apply the laws of courtier-ship and there will be no limit to how far you can rise in the court.

Law 25

Re-Create Yourself

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you. Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

Law 26

Keep Your Hands Clean

You must seem a paragon of civility and efficiency: Your hands are never soiled by mistakes and nasty deeds. Maintain such a spotless appearance by using others as scapegoats and cat’s-paws to disguise your involvement.

Law 27

Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following

People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something. Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a cause, a new faith to follow. Keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking. Give your new disciples rituals to perform, ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf. In the absence of organized religion and grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.

Law 28

Enter Action with Boldness

If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.

Law 29

Plan All the Way to the End

The ending is everything. Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune that might reverse your hard work and give the glory to others. By planning to the end you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances and you will know when to stop. Gently guide fortune and help determine the future by thinking far ahead.

Law 30

Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless

Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease. All the toil and practice that go into them, and also all the clever tricks, must be concealed. When you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more. Avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work – it only raises questions. Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.

Law 31

Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal

The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice: Your victims feel they are in control, but are actually your puppets. Give people options that come out in your favor whichever one they choose. Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils, both of which serve your purpose. Put them on the horns of a dilemma: They are gored wherever they turn.

Law 32

Play to People’s Fantasies

The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant. Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment. Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert: Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses.

Law 33

Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew

Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usual y an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.

Law 34

Be Royal in your Own Fashion: Act like a King to be treated like one

The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you. For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others. By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.

Law 35

Master the Art of Timing

Never seem to be in a hurry – hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time. Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually. Become a detective of the right moment; sniff out the spirit of the times, the trends that will carry you to power. Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.

Law 36

Disdain Things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best Revenge

By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility. The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it. It is sometimes best to leave things alone. If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.

Law 37

Create Compelling Spectacles

Striking imagery and grand symbolic gestures create the aura of power – everyone responds to them. Stage spectacles for those around you, then full of arresting visuals and radiant symbols that heighten your presence. Dazzled by appearances, no one will notice what you are really doing.

Law 38

Think as you like but Behave like others

If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them. They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior. It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.

Law 39

Stir up Waters to Catch Fish

Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive. You must always stay calm and objective. But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage. Put your enemies off-balance: Find the chink in their vanity through which you can rattle them and you hold the strings.

Law 40

Despise the Free Lunch

What is offered for free is dangerous – it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation. What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit. It is also often wise to pay the full price – there is no cutting corners with excellence. Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power.

Law 41

Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes

What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after. If you succeed a great man or have a famous parent, you will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them. Do not get lost in their shadow, or stuck in a past not of your own making: Establish your own name and identity by changing course. Slay the overbearing father, disparage his legacy, and gain power by shining in your own way.

Law 42

Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will Scatter

Trouble can often be traced to a single strong individual – the stirrer, the arrogant underling, the poisoned of goodwill. If you allow such people room to operate, others will succumb to their influence. Do not wait for the troubles they cause to multiply, do not try to negotiate with them – they are irredeemable. Neutralize their influence by isolating or banishing them. Strike at the source of the trouble and the sheep will scatter.

Law 43

Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others

Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you. You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction. A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn. And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses. Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear. Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you.

Law 44

Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect

The mirror reflects reality, but it is also the perfect tool for deception: When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy. The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact. By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions, you teach them a lesson. Few can resist the power of Mirror Effect.

Law 45

Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once

Everyone understands the need for change in the abstract, but on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit. Too much innovation is traumatic, and will lead to revolt. If you are new to a position of power, or an outsider trying to build a power base, make a show of respecting the old way of doing things. If change is necessary, make it feel like a gentle improvement on the past.

Law 46

Never appear too Perfect

Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable. Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity.

Law 47

Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop

The moment of victory is often the moment of greatest peril. In the heat of victory, arrogance and overconfidence can push you past the goal you had aimed for, and by going too far, you make more enemies than you defeat. Do not allow success to go to your head. There is no substitute for strategy and careful planning. Set a goal, and when you reach it, stop.

Law 48

Assume Formlessness

By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes.

14.4.09

A RENAISSANCE

It's been a while since I've written a post. Last week was so filled with insights. The Holy Week was a blessing for me. For months now, I've been trying to change who I am through self- awareness. I should have finalized a resolution for myself last Jan 1 but I was to lazy and I lacked motivation. 

Last week, I watched Yamato Nadeshiko once again. After watching that anime, it hit me. I was so like the character, not that I had a rich aunt or that I was that gorgeous. I felt how she felt. I really had low self esteem for the past years of my existence. I dread when my mother asked me to talk or even order at a fast food. I didn't like going out that much. Especially when I graduated college. I stayed home most of the time. I was comfortable staying at home for a whole week just doing nothing but bum around. I hated it when people stared at me. I began to hate my height and ended up always slouching and walking fast. I didn't believe when people said positive things about me. I'd rather hear negative ones.  I didn't believed in me. I always felt that being invisible was the best. I felt safe in my solitude. For me the outside world was nothing. Being alone was paradise. I was stubborn not to listen to other people's advice.

It was last year that I realized what I was missing out. Exactly after the break-up, I realized that I deserved more than what I thought was OK. My friends made me realize it. I always did thought that I was worthless. So inch by inch, I made changes. I tried to be more open to my loved ones. I tried out things that boost my confidence like auditioning. I fixed my hair, now it's straight. I picked myself up from the rut. For once, I tried what I've never done before and that is looking at myself on a positive perspective. It went on and last week, I finally came up with things that were in me that needed to change or go. I know I messed up big time in the past with my decisions, I choose to no longer dwell in those things rather to look forward for good things to come.

I was more driven than ever to be the best that I can be after hearing the priest's Easter message. He said that there was no reason for looking at oneself negatively since we were all made in the image and likeness of God. He made everything beautiful. The priest further added that there was no reason to be afraid. Knowing that God is always with me to love me despite my imperfections has given me hope and comfort. A relief to my feeling of not belonging. It's never to late to become the best that God wants us to be. We should always see the beauty and the good within us that God sees.

I know in a short span of time there have been changes in who I am and how I am to others and for as long as I am living, I will no longer make excuses for not doing my best. I can safely say that the battle within who I am, who I was and who I wanted to be has already ceased because now, I choose to become better than I was before.  I no longer am that shadow loving, pitiful and world-weary girl. These things though not grand marks my very own renaissance.

27.3.09

TRISTE


Vous me parlez seulement quand vous avez besoin de quelque chose. Personne ne s'inquiète vraiment de moi.


Je devine si je meurs aujourd'hui, ils pleurerai pas parce qu'I' ; morts de m mais le fait qu'ils ont perdu une personne qui peut faire leurs commandes.


Peut-être I' ; m juste une pauvre fille pathétique, essayant d'avoir de vrais amis dans l'Internet. Si assez naïf de croire que le cyberworld sera plus doux et sorte à elle que ceux dans le monde réel.


 

20.3.09

For Noone

wala magawa nood kasi hana yori dango korean version nasaniban ng kadramahan>>>

i may not be perfect,

nor may I be your first choice..

You may only see me as ordinary..

And not even close to your dream girl's beauty...

But this heart is true...

My love never fading ...

I'll always be here...

And even on my last second here on Earth...

I will keep a promise in perpetuum...

Until my heart stops beating...

For within my soul there you'll be...

10.3.09

RANDOM THOUGHTS IN MY MIND

Last Sunday night, while I was listening to the homily, I suddenly felt unwell. My whole body started to feel numb. I was cold as water from the ref. I was sweating all over. And as I was looking at the priest, my peripheral vision started to go black and just like the curtain goes down after a  broadway show so did my sight. I almost fell out of balance. Good thing I was standing near the wall. There were no seats that time, I just leaned on the wall and pushed my self to hold on. I experienced what doctors would call syncope, not only once but twice.



 I then realized, "What if it was my last look at this world?" Nothing is for certain in this world. Except for two things, LOVE and DEATH.  Man will never cease to love likewise with death.



For those I love, I'm sorry if I am lenient in saying how much I love you. I'm never the type to say it. I always hope that through my actions, you'd somehow feel it. I never will be perfect and strong though how hard I try to be for this I may have failed you. I maybe overreacting because of the incident. Perhaps, I'm just scared like a little kid on her first day of school. My fear of losing everything that I have in this world and I'm not talking about things but of my loved ones. If everything turns out, well maybe there is more in store for me. Don't want to seem morbid but I just don't want to pass up on the opportunity of letting you guys know how grateful I am. That even if I sold my life, I won't be enough for the things you have done for me. I just want to bring back the praise to you guys. Those who supported me through it all. Those who loved me for who I am irregardless of my shortcomings. I'm forever in awe. Kudos to you. I LOVE YOU ALL.


just crazy thoughts...

9.2.09

My Missing Valentine

It's gonna be the same Valentines day for me.

Like what my past Valentine birthdays were.

No special date. 

Just me, my family and friends.

Just a simple dinner.

No big events involved.

How I wish I had someone but I can't be impatient.

Things happen for a reason.

I know that there's a guy somewhere out there for me.

The one who will be my valentine for life.

25.1.09

BEING A FOOL



Here I am again making a fool out of myself.


Doing things in search for the thing that would make me happy.


Almost forgetting that my soul could burn in hell,


Doing whatever it takes not to feel alone,


Trying to please at whatever cost.


Making such a mockery of myself.


As days pass by,


I'm slowly losing control,


Of the reality, I call my world.


Doing my best to make sense,


Rationalizing what I've done,


Regrets are numerous


Despite this, I continue to make bad choices,


I strive to be better,


Battling with my irrational side.


I'm still a lonely fool,


The  war within me is not yet over.


In the end of all this,


I pray that I find peace.


And that the clown who I see in my reflection will cease to exist.




4.1.09

Confessions of A Lone Wolf

Crying(I finally found the time to post this.... )
The start of the year and here I am still doing my best to stand up again from the fall last 2008. It's hard to start from scratch again but nonetheless I'm glad I was able to stay sane. Last year was full of heartaches and it was last year that I realized how devastating love can be.

I hide a lot of things from people I know. I don't tell them my pains and they don't know half of what I've been through. There are those who I've told a few. Funny thing though sometimes I can't control myself and end up telling my life story to strangers. I guess it's easier to tell strangers. I know they won't get hurt with those things.

Emptiness and loneliness have always accompanied me. I don't know why I feel these things when in fact, I have many friends. Maybe I am starting to love those feelings. I am a drama queen but I know you won't believe me. Oftentimes, people would see me smiling and I always appear to be positive about the world. But at the same time, I am so pessimistic when it comes to my own life.

I've never believed in myself. Frequently, I put myself down. Self-pity has always been a master of mine. Though others may say they envy me and the life I live but in reality they're wrong. If they only saw the skeletons in my closet maybe they'd take back what they say. Sometimes, I wished I could live all by myself in a deserted island where no one could find me and live there until I decay. I'd be happy if it came true.

You'd probably think I'm mad. Why would someone choose to live alone. My reason is simple. When you are alone, you won't get disappointed, hurt or frustrated by others. No more lies, deceit, disappointments and rejection. That would be a beautiful dream.

People ask me if I had a boyfriend and more often they won't believe me when I tell them I don't have one. Why don't I have one? It's not that nobody likes me. It's just that I chose to be this way. I'd rather be like this than suffer another heartache. Maybe I am a coward. I just want to play it safe. It's not easy to give my trust again. I was about to change my stand about this thing late last year but just when I was about ready to fall again, I got another blow and it hurt me so badly. I never thought that I'd feel something for that person, with all the hurt I got from my ex, but it did happen. And just like that, I found myself in another heartbreak again. Maybe it's my fate. To love and never be loved. I'll always be caught up in this cycle of I like him but not for him I'm just a wallflower. Sometimes I start to think about taking the easy way out. Saying yes to a guy who I don't have feelings for. But I can't take it. The thought of using someone just to fill up the emptiness is utterly pathetic.

2009 is a new year. A new chance to create a better story on a clean slate. If there are things that I'd like to change it would be to have more faith on myself and to avoid being cynical, thinking that all guys are made to hurt and disappoint. I so badly wish that before my birthday comes I would not be as empty and hurt as now. I'm scared of getting hurt again. I don't want to go on every night deceiving others that I am happy when in fact I'm lost and melancholic. I'm tired of being the emotional lone wolf that I am now. My best friend tells me not to get impatient but it's so hard to wait. I of all people should know the value of patience. Most of the mistakes that I did in the past were out of impulsiveness. It did great damage to my life. I don't want to be caught doing those mistakes all over again. I wish that this year I would no longer feel this emptiness within me. I'm praying that as I face this year, I will be able to smile not only when people are around me but also when I am alone.

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